Navigating A Predominately White Institution As A Queer Black Student

By Fatou Faye
LinkedIn

I grew up in a very diverse environment for the majority of my life. I always had all sorts of people and cultures around me, and for a long time, it left me thinking the whole world was like this. Unfortunately, I quickly came to the realization that this was not the case. 

When I first came to my art university campus sophomore year (my freshman year was entirely online), I was quick to realize that this was a PWI or a predominately White institution. I had actually made two previous trips to the school, and while I did notice White people were the majority, it feels entirely different when you are actually in the classroom. Now, might I remind you I am Black and queer, and also an artist much like everyone else who goes to my school, but because of these identities, I had a completely different perspective on things compared to my White peers. 

I can really only speak for the Film department when I talk about my experience. I am a screenwriting major and a film minor. The film industry is highly lacking in diversity and representation, and this also goes for the film classes at my school. It can be really difficult to feel seen and be heard in an environment that mostly doesn’t acknowledge you or how you feel. When we watch things, more often than not, the protagonist is a White person, and we follow White stories and experiences. The writers and directors that we are told about are mostly White. Black people and stories in cinema are something rarely talked about, and I had hoped to learn so much more about Black cinema during my college years. Not just Black stories but Black, queer stories and film history are something I’ve always wanted to learn more about. The lack of this is definitely difficult and frustrating for a film student. It can be even more frustrating when your White peers seem to have no regard for your feelings.   

Last semester I took Writing for Television II and during the duration of the class we had to work on our own television series and write our own pilots (a standalone episode of a television series that is used to sell a show). A White classmate one day had shared his pilot script with the class, as we all had to do, and before he shared he gave the class a trigger warning for gore and violent unpleasantries. I was okay with this, so I had no objections, but he deeply failed to inform the class of the major racism and Black violence he wrote in his script and made students read with absolutely no regard for how Black students in his class might feel about being thrown into this. Initially, after we read some of his script, I was a little confused and asked some questions, which didn't help clear anything up. I held my tongue for the time being, which is something I regret today. I was concerned if I was overreacting, which is something very common Black people, especially Black women, are told. I decided to wait until I had read the whole thing so I could see if this was really what I thought this was. It seemed to only get worse, there was so much violence against Black bodies it made me sick.

 We had a discussion board that I commented on the following week in which I did not hold my tongue at all. The next week we had class, I talked to him a little about how I felt about it and all he could say was, “sorry it made you feel that way.” With that bullshit “apology,” I took that as my sign to clearly stay away from him. You might also be wondering what the school can do about this, but the truth is I doubt much would come from it. I remember talking to my professor about it, and she didn’t enjoy what he wrote either (glad I wasn’t crazy), but there was nothing she could really do. 

Now, the purpose of my telling of this story is because people like my classmate are the same people who are going to make movies and TV shows in the next ten years, and if people like that are behind our television screens, minorities will never get the representation we deserve. This is why it is so important for your voice to be heard, for MY voice to be heard.    

Being raised as a Black woman (although I no longer identify as a woman) has taught me to believe that my voice and my perspective do not matter. It has taught me to not complain and take what I’ve been given because it is better than nothing at all. It has taught me to stay silent because I will look angry, but the truth is, I am angry, my voice does matter, and I am allowed to not feel like I should settle for less. These are things I wish I had been told not only throughout my childhood but before coming to a PWI because it is very often that I forget these things. Myself and people like me deserve to have their stories told in a positive light and this is one thing that drives me as an aspiring screenwriter. I must remember, and people reading this must remember, you have a story, I have a story, and it deserves to be told.