Sabrina Carpenter and a Text From My Ex

By London Alexander
LinkedIn

My date and I ran up the steps of the Greek Theater just as Sabrina Carpenter was taking the stage for the first song of the night. The bouncy guitar chords of “Read Your Mind” acted as our entrance music into the venue. I was trying to hide how out of breath I was as my date raced in front of me. She looked back to see that there were a handful of steps in between us. She stopped and held out her hand for me to grab. We interlaced fingers for the first time, causing my heart to thump against my chest louder than the music.

It was only our third date. I still wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about her. The butterflies in my stomach proved that there were feelings, but it felt too soon after my recent break-up. Could I start liking someone new that quickly? Was I ready to move on from my previous relationship? Just as we found our seats high up on the hill, my phone vibrated. I looked down to see a text from my ex. Before I could open it, the crowd roared as Sabrina skipped back and forth across the stage.

“I can’t read your mind / You say that you need to be alone / But night and day, want me at your beck and call”

I finally set my gaze on the stage, fully taking in the pageantry. A colossal mirrored heart with steps leading up to it took over the right of the stage. To the left was a towering platform bedazzled with pink gems that reflected all the way up to the cheap seats. In the center was Sabrina in a white lace garter, white platform shoes, and a heart cut out of the center of her white top. It was no wonder she would soon be joining Taylor Swift as an opener for the Eras Tour.  Sabrina was stunning!

I watched my date as she danced to the music. I stood still because I’m definitely not the dancing type. But I smiled as I stared at her. She was shorter than my ex. Her hair was darker and she had this quirk where she would dance whenever she was happy. I’m not talking about just at concerts, but in school, at the bookstore, waiting for the bus, everywhere. Music didn’t even have to be playing! My ex would have never done that. They thought dancing was childish and didn’t want to look stupid. Instead, at concerts, my ex would record most of the show on Snap. She’d watch the event through the lens of her phone, occasionally standing to get a better angle. 

“Bet you miss me / Bet you’re reminiscing / I bet you hate the way you said goodbye / And you still can’t even tell me why.”

Sabrina marched up to the mirrored heart onstage and leaned her body against it when she spoke to the crowd between songs. She declared how good she felt playing in a city that she called home. Though she appreciated being on tour, she felt especially happy being with friends, family, and locals who made her smile. Shouts of support echoed from various people in the sea of fans. Sabrina began to tear up with raw emotion, as did my date. It caught me off guard because the only emotion my ex ever expressed was anger. My ex would get mad when I hung out with friends or would lash out at me if I didn’t reply to one of her texts within a few minutes. It was as if she always looked for problems to have instead of just enjoying our relationship. She would have never expressed a vulnerable side like my date was doing. I nervously put my arm around her as Sabrina transitioned into a series of slow songs: the sensitive acoustic “things i wish you said,” the dancy whispers of “Tornado Warnings,” and the emotionally reflective “opposite.”

Then my phone vibrated again. I checked it to see another text from my ex. I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I opened it to see them saying they missed me and wondering why I hadn’t replied. My heart mimicked the high-energy, thumping beat of “bet u wanna” as I started texting back. I got lost in the letters on my phone, punching away to create the perfect words. It was true that I missed them too; I couldn’t deny that I was struggling to get used to their absence. I was about to send the message when the sound of familiar piano keys echoed throughout the arena. I looked up to see that the vibe of the crowd had shifted from emotional to comically upbeat as Sabrina launched into a cover of Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles.”

My date grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my seat into the aisle of stairs. I wasn’t able to send the text because I fumbled, trying to shove my phone into my pocket before dropping it. My date and the crowd around us sang the chorus of the song in unison, accompanied by the head shake of the iconic Terry Crews meme. The perfect timing made us both laugh. She was so relaxed and living in the moment. She wasn’t occupied with her phone, and she seemed genuinely happy. I couldn’t help but smile. Sure, the song was about missing someone, but it felt so satirical with the meme impersonation, as if it was okay to miss someone without it being so serious. The chorus came around again, and this time I joined in with the “I miss you / and I need you” head shake. Security came and shooed us back to our seats, but not before we created a moment that we would both remember forever.

“I’ll be honest / Lookin’ at you got me thinkin’ nonsense / Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in.”

My date and I enjoyed the rest of the show. The air was getting chillier, and the songs were getting slower. The once energetic fans were huddling to keep warm. I kept my arm around my date as Sabrina continued back and forth across the stage. I never ended up texting my ex back. I finally understood that it was okay to miss them and still move on. I also realized that I couldn’t keep comparing everything to my previous relationship. There was a reason why it didn’t work out. I was seeing so many green flags with my date, but I didn’t know how to accept them yet. It was difficult for me to decipher between green and red flags when all I was familiar with were the red ones. Maybe my date and I wouldn’t work out in the end. Maybe we would. Either way, I owed it to myself to live in the moment and enjoy it without comparing it to the mistakes of my past. 

“When you got your arms around me / It feels so good I had to hit the octave / I think I got an ex but I forgot him / And I can’t find my chill, I must have lost it / I don’t even know I’m talkin’ nonsense”